Trying.

There have been some times this past year that have for sure tested my patience and my ability to stay calm and not completely attack people like I typically would. Reality is...yes I am a brat and selfish, and I typically want things to go my way. BUT when I am trying to have things work for you as well, don't be a bitch and try to understand I am TRYING and you put effort forward as well.

I have let go of a few really close friends this year. It's been sad and hard but looking back worth it. Don't make me want to let go of you as well. I have realized that I must grow in order for me to get a long with others as well. I MUST CHANGE. I am so thankful for my husband who has helped me realize the qualities that I want to have in myself and in my children one day. I know that by being an example I will have a better chance of them turning out okay. I love my mom and sister for all the lessons and strengths they have given me. They showed me that being an independant woman is important and I pride myself in saying for majority of my life I have been pretty INDEPENDANT! "All the women who independent throw your hands up at me!" Thanks Beyonce. I am ready to have 2011 be one of the greatest years for me. I plan to learn a lot, study hard, try hard, and trust and believe in myself. Something I haven't done.

While we don't have plans for kids or a house for maybe 5 years plus I strongly believe Trent and I have started a strong life and family together here in Memphis. We plan on continuing it at our pace and enjoying life. I know I feel awkward at times cause one, we live in Memphis and are mormon, two we live in Memphis and don't have kids, and three we don't drink. That leaves not to many things to do here. So what do we do? We cuddle up on Friday nights and tickle each others backs and enjoy the fact that we have each other. I love Trent, especially has strengthened lately. He has been my back bone while I hated my job and came home each night and cried he just let me, and then eventually let me quit. Three days later I got a job. The LORD loves us. I have a testimony in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and without that I wonder where we might be now......

Thanks for my blessings and my wonderful dog and husband. I love them more then life itself. I'd die without them.